To Thine Own Self

I sent her to school today with a mask.

I smiled, and I could tell by her eyes she was smiling back at me.

She's stronger than me. So so much stronger than me. 

I sent her to school today with a lunch box.

I packed a note inside it telling her to always be true to herself and how proud I am of her.

I sent her to school today with a tear in my eye.

I don't want it to be like this. I want medical freedoms for myself and my children. Are these the days Orwell wrote about? I ask questions. To myself and to anyone who might listen. 

I called the school. Because I have questions.

Is there any way we as parents can make a choice? Is there any way we can have rights as parents? Can we be welcomed to your school unmasked - creating our biome and strengthening our own immunities? Please...?

The short and hard and final answer from the school: No.

So I ask more questions: Who tells you what to do... what guidelines to follow? And who tells them? And who tells them?

The short and hard and final answer from the school: The CDC/government agencies.

Is it here? 1984 37 years late? 



No... It's JUST a mask.

Are my peers passive? Is something wrong with me that I feel like I need to question this more? Is everyone feeling as crushed as myself? Is everyone reading both sides of the argument with open eyes and hearts? Is everyone checking their sources and who wrote them? Is anyone following the money... who got paid to say what or do what and when? Do people not think like that? Do people just go to sleep at night?

I don't think she saw it when she waved as I drove away. The tears in my eyes. The painful truth that what I believe in and what I just did TOTALLY contradict themselves: That masking is not allowing her to build immunities and a personal biome nor reinforce freedom and then simply and quickly putting a mask on her. 

And my note.

Oh, my note in her lunchbox today... Another author (Shakespeare) paraphrased...


"Be true to yourself, Emmy girl. Mama is so so proud of you."

Am I being true to myself and my babies?

Am I being a good citizen by masking?

Am I doing the right thing? Or just the opposite?

I am reminded of one of the greatest poems of all time.... The Hollow Men by TS Eliot. Read it. Study it. 

The concluding lines:

This is the way the world ends 

This is the way the world ends 

This is the way the world ends 

Not with a bang but a whimper.


My little blond hair, blued-eyed girl with all sorts of wisdom at the ripe age of six, is much much stronger than me. 

I sent her to school today with a mask. But it's just a mask..... yes.... for now.



I'll leave you with another tidbit from another favorite author. I hope it brings you comfort:

“The real things haven't changed. 

It is still best to be honest and truthful; 

to make the most of what we have; 

to be happy with simple pleasures; 

and have courage when things go wrong.” 

-- Laura Ingalls Wilder

Much love always,
Samantha


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good Bad Things

Image
  60 years ago today, on August 1, 1964, the course of history changed. Evans Dunlap, one of the two brothers who owned, managed, and worked the Dunlap & Co empire, was killed alongside his wife in a car accident. They were headed for Michigan when a drunk driver slammed into their vehicle. Evans and Isabel, both in their 40s, were killed instantly and left behind four children ages 12 to 20. And everything that could have been, was no more. Dunlap & Co was a business that America needed, and a business that has never since come about. Imagine Sears - where you could order a two story 1,900 square foot home. But add the layer of you could customize many more aspects and a crew would come and build it. And build it well and build it fast. And imagine it’s the 1950s. That was the vision and path Dunlap & Co was on. Land leveling and clearing, foundations, lumber, finish work, contractors, to tacking the letters on the mailbox… They. Did. It. All. But then… in a blink of a...
Read more

But the greatest is…

Image
 ​As I begin to mentally and physically wrap up my year at Dunlaps, I like to take time to reflect, as I always do.  And you’d think I’d be all thoughts and feels about it regarding our 150th year.  And I am. But I’m… not. It's been a year, my friends. A long, not easy, muddled, exhausting year. Stiffed money, scammed majorly, mistreated at times by people who refuse to take ownership of their own actions. It is crazy easy for me to find the hard this year.  I always do this to myself. It’s probably why I continue to grow more and more pessimistic as time marches on, which I hate. I always play a situation up. I have high expectations and a vision for something and it falls not just some short, but so much short of what I thought it would be that I’m thoroughly disappointed.   I've been struggling a lot with understanding systems and schools of thought.  Questioning every move I make. Trying to see why there would be an option 2 and 3 and 4 in th...
Read more

A Thousand Days...

Image
Today, March 28th, 2023, we celebrate our one thousandth day at Dunlaps.  What a journey it has been... We have learned so much about our community, the lumber market, products of all types - from tapcons to strike plates to stain to underlayment and everything in between. We've learned about what it means to maintain a business and what it takes to grow a business. And how nearly impossible those tasks can be. I've learned about a global pandemic can do to shipping and the price of raw materials. Sadly, I've learned that big businesses have found ways to create shortages to overinflate prices and hurt little guys and small town America. But on the other side, I've learned how important our dinky hardware store can be and how needed we are.  There have been so many memories and moments jammed into those thousand days. I think about some of our first moments -- they were such a blur and so scary. I think about how tight money has been at times and sing that one Oak Ridge...
Read more