At the foot of the Washer

My kids are blanket kids.


You know the ones:

Show up barefooted at the sitter’s at 7:07 AM dragging a completely ratted blanket across the sidewalk.

Though it looks like I never wash them, I occasionally do pull stealthy mama tricks and sneak them away for super quick wash and dry.

However, the other day, I couldn’t be so stealthy. Baby Heidi smeared grape jelly all over her beloved blanket.

I attempted to take the blanket without making a scene.

But as soon as I started walking to the washer, she was hot on my tail and knew something not to her liking was about to go down.

I threw it in the hot soapy water and she watched in horror.

She was screaming. 

She was yelling what was probably words to her, but just sounded barbaric to me.

She was angry.

She hit the front of washer with her little fists.

Angry big tears welled and rolled down her face. 

Immediate snot.

More screaming. More yelling in her language.

She laid on the floor and kicked the front of washer and cried.

And cried.

I was silent.

It’s just a blankie that needs to be washed.

This is a silly tantrum.



I stepped over her lovingly knowing that in about 75 minutes or less she would have her blanket back.

After a few minutes, she came up to me as I was doing dishes. Wiping her eyes, she said with such a broken-hearted tone in her voice, “Mama, hold me.”

I picked her up and held her close and told her it was going to be fine. But she started crying again. A little softer than before, but she had somewhat worn herself out. 

She simply could not see what I was doing.

Children- much like what I believe Heaven to be like - know no bounds of time.

I tried to tell sweet baby Heidi through her real tears that it was going to be okay. Just wait and see what I have in store for you: a clean wonderful fluffed blanket!

But she didn’t understand what I was saying or what I was trying to do.


I feel very strongly that right now more than ever in my life, I’m at the foot of the washer.

Kicking it with my feet. And God is doing something that makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER right now. 

COVID.

Masking.

Middle East.

Government.

Mis-information everywhere.

The list only goes on and on.


I’m screaming and crying and He is lovingly stepping over me.

He knows.

But I can’t understand it. I can’t understand His timeline. I can’t see the end result. I can’t feel the love. 

All I am is angry. 


I know very soon that I will walk back to Him and ask Him to hold me. And just let me cry softly. I’m tired too. 

He knows it.

He knows I don’t understand.

He knows I’m angry.

And, like any good parent, I know He will hold me close.

He will hold me close and let my heart know that it will all be okay. 

He will let my heart know that He has a plan- a really good one.

He has to do this so that another great thing can happen.

He has great things in store for me.


So right now, I’m at the foot of the washer.
But I am not in front of the right one.



I pray that if you are struggling like me that you find peace.

Peace of mind, heart, and body.

And I pray you find that peace in knowing that the one who washed the feet of the lowly - and even the one who washed the blanket of the baby - believes in you and much better tomorrows.


Much love always,

Samantha

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