Life at the Lumberyard

  I recently watched an incredible PBS documentary about autism. (Watch it here.) I then decided to buy the book to get the full story. Here my book review, five days shy of the 25th anniversary of my brother John’s diagnosis with autism. Case 1 (which very much was not Case 1) of autism is still alive today. His name is Donald Triplett. When we think of illnesses or diseases or medical discoveries, we may think of the first cases being reported in Medieval Times or even depicted on cave walls. But for me, much goes back to maybe around 1800/1820 - when records really started being recorded and shared... when data started to become more important. Either way, I think of all illness that relate to me or my family to have been studied or known about for 100+ years - easily. But not autism. Case 1 started less than century years ago in a little town in Mississippi.  Donald Triplett was born in 1933. And he reminds me much of my brother. Deeply rooted in routines, they both could ...

  I cried tears of pain and anger and confusion and peace yesterday. A wild day... Our little Heidi has had a tough go this year (and really all her years) with her lungs.  But yesterday, we got some long overdue answers. Heidi is part of a small group of people (that will probably grow with time) that likely and unbeknownst to us and doctors in December of 2019 contracted COVID… She wasn't yet in her 10th week of life.  Like the rest of the world, we didn't know it at the time and there was little that could be done then (or really can be even now). But now that she is growing up and getting bigger and continuing to develop, her lungs are not exactly what we would expect…and that's seeming to be a normal trend of our now toddlers who were then infants when COVID hit them.  Heidi is going to be treated like an asthma patient for awhile - possibly forever - but it's not asthma that she has. It's still very much unfolding in the medical world. It hasn't been reall...

Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about following the rules. I’ve always been a big rule follower.  Teachers (from my short lived experience) typically are. “If I just follow the rules, I’ll have no trouble.”  As a student and daughter, I was most certainly a rule follower.  But as I’ve grown and gotten a little older, I’ve been questioning some of the rules. There’s a government agency in town. Because I’ll probably get flagged online easily, I’ll call them O. Starts with the sounds “Oh, damn- not these guys” and “Shaaaa- ittt... they’re here.” You know.  them... They’re in Batesville now, and they’re nailing residential contractors. And honestly, it’s killing me. I’m a big softy for some of “our guys” - contractors who frequent our establishment. They carry similar values in faith and family and work ethic. They carry similar legacies of business, a longstanding tradition of good work and hard work; they helped build our town and continue make wildly...

I feel like I’ve been struggling with my religion for a couple years now.  Not my faith.  Not struggling with God.  Not struggling in understanding that Jesus is present in my life.  I’ve been struggling with religion. Because Catholicism is HARD.   And nobody really talks about it.  I’ve scoured the web looking for blogs. I’ve tried to find books that can relate to me and speak not only about Christianity, but really Catholicism (and motherhood too). Something about a journey of how a young mother who has doubts and has concerns about organized religion... about this messed up world we live in... Maybe about a person who does not at all want to leave her faith, but wants more answers than questions. Or someone to gently speak that we cannot have the answers in this life, sweet mama. And that's okay. I can’t find all that much that speaks to any of this though.  I do find a lot of Catholic moms who very much look like they have everything together...